


Not So Perfect But So Beautiful

by cinnabunstyles



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Coming Out, Gay Panic, Lance (Voltron)-centric, M/M, Post Season 6, Scenes and Feelings I wish Voltron Had Discussed, Season 7 Fix it, Self-Indulgent, Shadam, Side Shadam, season 6 fix it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 04:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15655971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnabunstyles/pseuds/cinnabunstyles
Summary: He takes one look at Keith’s face, flawed with scars in the most beautiful way, and he knows. He knows that he was meant to love Keith Kogane.





	Not So Perfect But So Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Okay so I wanted to publish this before season 7 dropped but that didn't happen. Anyways season 7 is out in the world and ohhh boyyy. The drama is overwhelming so of course I took my anger over here and used it as motivation to finish this. So lets just pretend for a bit that season 7 isn't a thing and this is how season 6 was followed up. Okay that's that, I hope you like this!

It has been a few days now. Or at least that's what Lance guesses, as he is without the built in day cycles that Pidge had installed in the ship to keep the team on a stable and healthy sleeping track. Thinking about the castle ship tugs at Lance’s heart. He still is struggling to believe that it is now just a tiny diamond resting inside of the yellow lion. It had been his home for the time he has spent in space. He quickly realizes how much he took that castle for granted. All of the time he spent in there, he had spent it feeling homesick for Earth. Now, he misses being able to sit in the living room next to Hunk, or at the dinner table with a plate of food goo across from Coran.

 

Lance sighs and scans the abyss of stars floating by from within his lion. They are on a path towards Earth, and Lance could not be happier about going home. Unfortunately, the trip is taking a lot longer than any of them would like, considering they are traveling in their individual lions.

 

The communicators fill with soft static for a short second, before Allura’s voice clearly cuts through. “I think we could all use a break on some solid ground. There is a harmless planet we will soon be very close to, and I think it would benefit us to land and rest for awhile. They also have some supplies that Coran and I think we should stock up on.”

 

Everyone voices their agreements, and Allura sends them all the coordinates for a planet called Yexola. She wasn't lying when she said it was close; they would be arriving in a little under a half a varga.

 

Lance feels so tired and all he wants to do is lie down and sleep. He has had so much on his mind lately, and has been finding it hard to deal with everything on his own. Usually he would confide with his best friend Hunk, but he hasn’t been feeling like Hunk cares all that much about him lately.

 

When it comes to talking to someone, a close second would be Shiro. Lance had felt distant from Shiro through, which turns out to be because he was a clone. So at least Lance knows it wasn’t the real Shiro who was constantly yelling at him. That helps… a bit.

 

So to say Lance has been feeling a bit lonely would be an understatement.

 

Lance takes a deep breath and tries to shake all of his self pity out of his mind. He focuses on how he is going to be able to see his family soon, and a smile tugs at his lips simply at the thought. He can almost hear the laugh of his sister Veronica in his head along with the shouting of his brothers. He lets himself image that he can smell the food being cooked by his mother as she hums along to a song on the radio.

 

He smiles as the stars float past him, and lets these thoughts consume his mind all the way to Yexola.

 

+++

 

What shocks Lance the most is the color of the sky. He has stepped foot onto many planets with many different colored skies. On earth the sky is blue, unless there is a sunrise or sunset. Those sunrises and sunsets don't even begin to compare to the swirls of color above Lances head.

 

He cranes his neck back and lets his eyes scan over the different shades of pinks and purples swirling together in the sky. It’s strange because it isn’t a gradient like a sunrise; he can clearly see where one color meets the other. It's unlike anything he has ever seen.

 

Lance is shaken out of his trance by Hunk calling his name.

 

“Hey stop thinking about Allura and come help us stock the lions!”

 

Lance feels a stab in his chest at the mention of Allura. He knows Pidge and Hunk like to tease him about these kinds of things but lately it hasn't felt very much like teasing. At this point Lance is pretty sure the two of them are just laughing at him and not with him.

 

He clamps his mouth shut, like always, and heads over to where everyone is loading food and supplies into their lions. He stays silent as he loads, and is surprised to catch Keith looking at him more than a few times. Each time, as soon as Lance’s eyes lock onto Keith’s, Keith hurries to look away.  

 

Lance then tries his best to not look towards him anymore.

 

The last thing he needs to have on his mind right now is Keith.

 

The team ultimately decides to spend the night on Yexola and then continue on their journey in the morning.

 

Normally Lance would love this situation. He could see himself making it into a silly sleepover type of thing, where he jokes around with Hunk and Pidge, while Keith watches and pretends like he isn't laughing. All of these things, Lance realizes, is what they would have done before. Now?

 

Now Lance looks around and sees Pidge and Hunk sitting on the paw of the green lion working hard on tech stuff involving the castle that Lance couldn't understand even if he tried. Coran is talking excitedly to one of the locals on the planet who had helped with retrieving supplies. The alien looks like they are trying to avoid any further conversation but Coran just launches further into his story. Next to the black lion, stands Allura, Romelle, Shiro and Keith. Lance supposes he could go join them, but would they really want that? They were probably talking about something important that goofball Lance shouldn't be included in anyway.

 

Lance feels his eyes sting with frustrated tears. He has felt so out of place among the team ever since…. well, ever since Keith left.

 

He does not want to think about this right now. He sucks in a sharp breath and turns on his heel walking away from his teammates and the lions.

 

He walks and walks until he can no longer hear Coran laughing or Pidge excitedly yelling at Hunk. He finds himself walking down a hill, leading him to a stream of water surrounded by big rocks and trees. The trees look like the ones on Earth, but among closer inspection the leaves have a thin layer of fur covering them.

 

Lance finds a rock big enough for him to sit on, and he finds himself staring into the water trickling by. It’s peaceful here, and Lance is grateful for that.

 

He starts to allow his mind to wander, and of course, it wanders to Keith.

 

He wouldn’t want to admit it, but most of the time he spent wandering around the castle ship, or in the hours before he fell asleep at night, his mind would always be on Keith.

 

At first, he didn’t even try to think about what that meant. He just figured that he missed have someone to argue with. But over time, it became more than that.

 

Lance never let himself think about it for too long, because when he did, he related what he was feeling towards Keith with what he felt for Allura. And that was very confusing.

 

Allura. When Lance would think about her he got all the symptoms of a crush. His cheeks would flush and his stomach would swim with butterflies. He thought she was absolutely beautiful and accepted that he had feelings for her right away. Having feelings for a pretty space princess is normal after all.

 

It was when those butterflies started to appear when Lance would catch Keith smiling that he knew something was very, very wrong.

 

Now, sitting here on this beautiful planet watching the water sparkle, Lance can come to terms with the fact that he doesn’t think he likes Allura very much anymore.

 

He loves her, yes. But it isn’t a romantic love like it once was. Now, when Lance thinks about Allura he feels a sense of pride and protectiveness. Almost like he does for his sister Veronica. So yes, Lance loves Allura, but it is a different kind of Love than what he once thought.

 

So that brings him back to Keith. Lance has never felt this way about a boy before. It scares him, a lot.

 

Lance drags his foot across the loose dirt that leads to the steam and sighs.

 

He really missed Keith while he was gone, there’s no doubt about that. Everyone missed Keith though, so it’s not weird that he did too.

 

What is weird though is how Lance immediately noticed how much taller and muscular Keith was upon his arrival. What is weird is the way that had made him feel. Lance is pretty sure the others didn’t get as red in the face as he did when Keith stepped out of the fighter looking the way he did.

 

“Fuck, I'm so fucked,” Lance whispers.

 

He rubs his hands along his temples where he can feel a headache starting to build up.

 

“I need to stop thinking about this or my head might actually explode.”

 

Lance stands up from his rock and decides to head back to the others. The swirled sky was starting to darken in color, which Lance took as meaning it was getting late.

 

When he gets back he sees that everyone is still where they were when he left.

 

“Probably didn’t even notice I was gone,” he mutters to himself.

 

He figures that Pidge and Hunk are his best bet, so he walks over to where they have abandoned the papers with math questions in favor of some kind of green fizzy drink Lance thinks might be space soda.

 

“How’s the science stuff coming along.” He asks leaning against the paw of the green lion.

 

“Pretty good actually. We’re just trying to get a head start so when we get back to Earth we can jump right in with dad!” Pidge excitedly explains.

 

“Where have you been?” Hunk asks around his straw.

 

“Flirting with Allura?”

 

The two snicker and high five each other.

 

Lance has heard this joke a million times by now, but for some reason this is one time that makes him snap.

 

“You know what? I’m tired of this. I’m so tired of the way you two have been treating me lately. You’re supposed to be my friends!” Lance yells without really thinking about it.

 

Pidge and Hunk stare at him with wide eyes shocked at what Lance is saying. His outburst has caught the attention of the others as well. It’s uncomfortably silent; no one really knowing what to say.

 

“Forget it,” Lance scoffs. He keeps his eyes on the ground avoiding everyone's stare.

 

“I-I’m going to go to sleep, sorry,” He reflexively apologizes.

 

He shuffles towards the red lion and climbs inside waiting for the door to fully close before letting out the tears that have been built up behind his eyes for days. He usually doesn’t allow himself to cry. It makes him feel weak, but at this point he’s tired of holding everything in. Sitting here, he feels stupid for making a scene in front of everybody. He should have just stayed quiet and not gotten in anyone's way.

 

Lance had only been sitting in the lion for less than five minutes when he hears a knock against red and Shiro’s calm voice asking, “Lance? Can I come in?”

 

Lance sucks in a deep breath and tries to hurry and wipe his eyes dry. He lets Red feel that he is okay with Shiro coming in, and she opens her door.

 

He stays sat where he is in the pilot's seat as Shiro approaches behind him. Shiro stops next to Lance and doesn't seem to be in a rush to say anything.

 

The silence is uncomfortable for Lance, so he attempts to break the thick air first.

 

“Sorry about that. Dunno what got into me,” He offers a dry laugh.

 

“I think maybe I should be the one apologizing to you Lance,” Shiro sighs.

 

“I was told by Allura that while, well while I wasn't myself, I was pretty rude to you. I want you to know that the real me would never treat you like that. You are very important to this team and I hope you know that. I can see that there is tension between you and everyone else. While I don’t want to talk for the others, I at least want you to know that I’m sorry. I’m sure everyone else is too, they just haven't realized how much you've been hurting.”

 

“And you have?” Lance scoffs.

 

“Actually it was Keith who brought it to my attention.”

 

Lance’s breath catches at this. Keith?

 

“He came up to me and asked if I knew if there was something going on with you. He told me that ever since he has been back he has noticed that you have been different. A kind of different that he doesn’t like.” Shiro leans against Lance’s chair as he explains. “He seemed really worried.”

 

“Keith worried about me? Sounds fake but okay,” Lance rolls his eyes.

 

Shiro chuckles at that and says, “You know what I think? I think that you two might care about each other a bit more than you let on.”

 

Lance can feel his heart rate pick up because he knows that Shiro is right. He cares about Keith a lot, maybe too much.

 

“I- i really missed him,” Lance says so low that Shiro almost misses it.

 

“Its okay that you did,” Shiro places a hand on Lance’s shoulder.

 

“Shiro, can I ask you something?”

 

“Of course Lance.”

 

“Have you ever been in love?” Lance looks up at Shiro for the first time since their conversation began. He sees Shiro’s eyes widen at the question but quickly soften into a fond look.

 

“I have,” He says softly.

 

“I thought I was in love with Allura, but now I’m not so sure,” Lance tries to explain.

 

“Well, when you love someone it is like you would do absolutely anything for them. All that is important to you is that they are safe and happy. You start to live for someone else, and not just yourself. It’s like, you could look out into space and see all of the stars shining and still think that that person is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen,” Shiro explains with a smile spread across his tired face.

 

“You feel like you're at home when you’re with them.”

 

Lance thinks about this. He did have strong feelings for Allura, but it never built up to what Shiro is describing. He knows better than to doubt he now has strong feelings for Keith, but he still feels very unsure about himself.

 

“His name was Adam,” Shiro says in a sad voice.

 

“What?” Lance looks up at him.

 

I loved him very much back on Earth. I still love him. I hope that he will still love me by the time we get back,” Shiro squeezes Lance’s shoulder.

 

This news astonishes Lance. He doesn't know what to say so he just blurts out, “You had a boyfriend?”

 

Apparently that wasn't the reaction Shiro had expected because he gently removes his hand from Lances shoulder, his mouth slightly frowning with a worried look.

 

“Yes, is that a problem for you,” Shiro asks hesitantly.

 

“No! It’s not a problem at all I was just surprised,” Lance reassures.

 

“How did, um, how did you know that you wanted a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend,” Lance nervously asks while picking at his fingernail.

 

Shiro looks down at Lance and can see just how nervous the boy looked.

 

“I guess, I just always kind of knew,” Shiro says wrinkling his brow as he tries to put his feelings into words for Lance.

 

“When I was younger I never could relate to my friends when they talked about the girls they had crushes on. I thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't share these same feelings. Then in high school there was this boy. He was so handsome and made me feel the way my friends had described when they talked about girls. So I went home that night and did some research. That's how I found out that being gay was a thing, as well as some questionable videos,” Shiro awkwardly coughs into his hand.

 

“Anyway, after that everything just clicked in my head. Being gay made so much sense to me. It felt right. Then I went to the Garrison and met Adam,” Shiro finds himself smiling again just from speaking the name.

 

Lance mulls this over in his head. He was always able to relate to his childhood friends when they talked about which girls they had crushes on. He always found the girls around him to be pretty. So he couldn't be gay, right? He has never felt that way for boys before. He found himself in fights with boys more often than not. Like that one kid back in middle school where he and Lance would fight for who was at the top of the reading list every week. Lance eventually found it kind of fun though. Or that one boy his junior year of high school who would always walk into class wearing most ridiculous tight fitting shirts Lance had ever seen. Who even wore shirts like that? If Lance had been caught staring at him he insisted it was because his hatred for the kid was too overwhelming. The next boy in his life who really got on his nerves was, well, it was Keith. Oh. Wait a second.

 

“You okay there Lance. You look a little stressed,” Shiro cautiously asks as it looks like Lance is thinking so hard he is about to burst a blood vessel.

 

“Is it weird to be annoyed by someone else's clothes,” Lance questions. “Like if I hated the way someone dressed it would make sense that I stared at their back all through class right?” Lance asks as his voice raises in a panic.

 

“Or if I was trying to keep up with another person. Like trying to beat them and be as good as them to the point where it becomes obsessive? That's nothing more than a healthy rivalry right?” Lance weakly questions even though he’s pretty sure he already knows the answer.

 

“Lance calm down. It’s okay.” Shiro moves his hand from Lance’s shoulder to his back to rub comforting circles.

 

“It’s okay if you are feeling confused. If you might be questioning some things. It’s alright. What's important is that you remember that you are still the same person inside, no matter who it is you end up falling in love with,” Shiro comforts.

 

Lance sucks in a deep breath of air and tries to slow his heart rate.

 

“I guess you could say I have been sorta confused. Or no, not really confused it’s more like, ugh,” Lance puts his head in his hands and groans.

 

He doesn't know why it is so hard for him to put into words how he is feeling. He now knows that Shiro himself is gay, which means he understands. The thing is Lance doesn't really know how to talk about this without bringing up Keith.

 

“Is there someone in particular that is causing you to feel this way?” Shiro prods.

 

Well that was quick. Lance had hoped Shiro wouldn’t ask about any specifics but things aren't really working out in his favor. He figures that by now there's no point in trying to lie.

 

“Yes.”

 

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t feel comfortable sharing, but if you did tell me it would make it a bit easier for me to help you,” Shiro warmly explains.

 

Lances chews at his lip debating if he should confide in Shiro about his feelings for Keith or not. Shiro is like a brother to Keith so his immediate worry is that he would go run and tell Keith after he talks to Lance.

 

“You have to promise to only keep it between us. No one else can know,” Lance looks Shiro in the eye.

 

“Of course Lance! This can stay between us if that's what you want.”

 

In that moment Lance almost hates Shiro because he is just so damn supportive that it makes Lance want to sit here and tell him all of his darkest secrets.

 

With Shiro's warm gaze on him, Lance takes a deep breath and lets out his words in one big rush while he exhales.

 

“IthinkImightpossiblyhaveasmallcrushonKeith,” He spits out.

 

“You what?” Shiro furrows his eyebrows.

 

“I have what seems to be a crush. O-on Keith,” Lance shoots his eyes back to the ground not finding himself to be able to look at Shiro as he talks.

 

“It’s just that I knew I had a crush on Allura, and I have come to the realization that the ‘hatred’ I thought I felt towards Keith is actually a lot like the feelings I would get around Allura. I just didn’t accept that I was feeling those things for a boy so I turned it into fighting.” Lance clenches his fists as he spills his heart out.

 

“It’s okay that you feel these things for a boy; that you feel them for Keith. Are you ashamed about it?” Shiro questions.

 

“No, I don't think it’s that I’m ashamed. I just don't know what to do at this point. I’m sure with how we’ve gotten along up until now Keith hates me,” Lance pouts.

 

“I wouldn't be so quick to jump to that conclusion,” Shiro says carefully. “What you should do is talk to him.”

 

“Oh yeah and that would go over so well. ‘Hey Keith it turns out all this time that I have been fighting with you has just been me suppressing the fact that I have a big crush on you!’” Lance mocks himself is a high pitched voice.

 

“All I’m saying is to think about it. I’m sure it wouldn't go over as terrible as you're imagining,” Shiro raises his hands in mock surrender.

 

“You're right, I know you are,” Lance offers a small smile.

 

“I think I need to do some thinking though before I talk to Keith. Figure some stuff out for myself.”

 

Shiro looks at Lance with the fondest smile and bends over to wrap the smaller boy in a hug.

 

“That's okay Lance. Take your time and remember that if you ever need to talk about this kind of thing, I'm here.”

 

Lance buries his face into Shiro’s shoulder and feels tears prick at his eyes, except this time, they aren't the sad kind.

 

+++

 

Unlike yesterday, today is windy. Lance is back at the stream sitting on the big smooth rock. The grass here reminds him of home. It looks and feels the same, if anything it’s softer than the grass back home. Lance pulls his knees to his chest and closes his eyes, letting the breeze sweep through his hair and tickle his face. He misses being able to sit outside like this. It’s something he would always do at home. His mother always had trouble keeping him indoors ever since he was young.

 

Lance just loves being able to feel the wind on his face, or the grass under his feet. The only disappointing thing here for him is the stream. While it is pretty, it is small and shallow. Lance misses the ocean. So far none of the planets they have landed on have had anything that measures up to the beaches Lance spent more than half his time growing up at.

 

Before Lance can get too homesick for the white sand and blue waves though, a rustling sound cuts through the silence. In a matter of seconds, Keith’s space wolf has trotted up to Lance.

 

“You scared me,” Lance looks down as the wolf circles by his feet before sitting down. He reaches down to scratch at its head. “You’re pretty cute you know that? Come over here to keep me company?”

 

Lance smiles as he closes his eyes and continues to pet the black and blue fur. He feels more relaxed than he has in a long time, sitting here with the water, trees, and the cute animal at his feet.

 

“Hey man.”

 

The voice scares Lance so bad that his eyes snap open and he almost tumbles off of the rock. He thankfully catches himself before that happens, and looks over his shoulder.

 

There, sauntering towards him is Keith, who is wearing the most carefree expression as if he didn't just almost give Lance a heart attack.

 

“Don’t do that!” Lance holds a hand over his heart. “You scared the shit out of me.”

 

“Sorry I didn't mean to sneak up on you, but you seemed pretty zoned out,” Keith mutters.

 

He reaches the rock that holds Lance and looks at the space next to him.

 

“Mind if I sit here?”

 

“Sure. I mean, if you want,” Lance scooches over a bit and tries not to act like Keith sitting next to him is causing him to work up a sweat.

 

“How’d you find me? Didn’t think anyone saw where I went.”

 

“I followed him,” Keith nods down at his wolf.

 

“I kind of wanted to talk to you.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Lance’s voice is an octave too high. He clears his throat, “About what?”

 

“You’ve been acting strange,” Keith reaches for one of the fuzzy leaves sitting on the ground. He twirls it over in his hands for a moment before he continues.

 

“I’ve gotten bits and pieces from the others about what went down while I was away. Sounds like it’s been pretty tough for you.”

 

Lance narrows his eyebrows and huffs out, “I’ve been doing just fine. I’m just as strong as the others, it’s not like I haven't been able to handle things.”

 

“No I’m not trying to say that you're weak or anything like that I just- its just that,” Keith sighs loudly.

 

“You basically died. And it happened while you were trying to save someone else, which is such a ‘Lance’ thing to do,” Keith’s mouth forms a small smile.

 

“I’m pretty sure going through that can take a lot out of someone. I know you feel guilty about the whole kuron thing with Shiro too. You can’t be upset with yourself for not knowing. Hunk and Pidge were telling me that another reason you’ve been down in the dumps is because of Allura. All I’m saying is that is a lot, and anyone would be exhausted from going through all of that. I guess I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” Keith says all of this while keeping his eyes glued onto the leaf in his hand.

 

Lance is shocked at how much Keith just said. He never talks to Lance like this, or to anyone like this really. It sends a warm feeling spiraling through his chest and it isn't even just because of his feelings for Keith; it stems from knowing that someone cares and is reaching out to him.

 

“Wow Keith I didn’t know you were capable of being so nice,” Lance gently bumps his shoulder into the other boy.

 

“We don’t always have to be fighting,” Keith looks at him.

 

Lance takes in the details of Keith's face and notices the subtle changes. His eyes are still the same entrancing dark color, but the rest of his features seem more defined. His jawline just a tad sharper, his hair is longer, and that mark on his check standing prominent against his light skin.

 

Lance wants to tell him how beautiful he looks, but instead ends up saying, “Those two years on the back of a space whale really changed you huh?”

 

He had meant it as a joke of course, but his breath catches in his throat when he sees Keith's face fall.

 

“Yeah they really did.” Keith lets the leaf fall from his hands to the floor.

 

“I know you came out here to check up on me, but what about you? Are you actually okay after those two years?” Lance asks.

 

“Yeah I’m okay. It was rough, but I’m mostly glad it happened actually. I got plenty of time to bond with my mom and listen to her stories and learn from what she had to say. I was able to learn more about myself and my past in that time.”

 

Keith has matured since he left, anyone could notice that. It makes Lance feel like he’s a step behind him, as if Keith left him behind like the others. He knows that it’s selfish to be thinking like this, but for some reason he cant help it as these thought swim to the front on his mind.

 

“See, there it is. The face you're making right now is the one I’ve been noticing and I don't like it,” Keith says sternly.

 

“I know I’m probably the last person who you would want to talk to, but if you ever decide that you want to be done holding everything in, I’m willing to listen,” Keith gets up to leave.

 

Lance almost lets him go, but just before Keith can walk out of earshot he speaks up.

 

“I’ve been feeling lonely. Unimportant.”

 

Keith’s footsteps come to a halt and Lance squeezes his eyes shut.

 

“I know they don’t mean too, but the team has kinda been making me feel like I’m not important. I know I’m not as smart as Pidge and Hunk, so it makes it hard for me to hang out with them when they're bonding over sciencey stuff. Allura was always with Lotor, and there's only so much Coran time a guy can handle,” Lance says with a dry chuckle.

 

“Shiro, well we know why Shiro kept yelling at me, but at the time I thought he was just fed up with me. Who wouldn't be, right?”

 

Neither of them speak for a minute, the only sound filling the air is the soft trinkle of the stream flowing along. Lance doesn't dare say anything else, so he just sits there keeping his eyes closed. Just as he begins to think Keith had snuck away or something, he hears footsteps approaching him again.

 

Keith takes back his seat on the rock next to Lance. The two of them sit there like that for awhile, just looking at the nature this planet had to offer. Finally Keith decides to speak up.

 

“You have to know that you are so important Lance. You do so much for this team and it wouldn’t be Voltron without you.”

 

Lance wants to cry from the sincerity he can hear in Keith’s voice. It warms his heart and he wants to hug him right then and there.

 

“Things are going to get better. I can feel it,” Keith reassures.

 

“Are you going to stay?” Lance questions.

 

“What?”

 

“Are you going to stay. Here with us, with Voltron. Or are you going back to the blade?”

 

“Oh,” Keith says understanding. “I- I’m not sure yet. I've been thinking about staying, but I’m just not sure.”

 

“Okay,” Lance simply nods his head.

 

It’s quiet again for a minute but Lance doesn’t let that last too long.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Keith’s head turns to him.

 

“Thank you Keith. This made me feel better.” Lance can’t find the courage to look Keith in the eyes as he thanks him.

 

A small smile develops on Keith's face and a soft chuckle escapes his lips.

 

“Of course. Gotta make sure our sharpshooter knows he’s appreciated.”

 

This time, Lance does hug him.

 

+++

 

Lance is woken up the next morning by someone very loudly banging on the side of his lion.

 

“Rise and shine loverboy Lance we’re heading back on the road!” Coran’s voice rings out way to chirpy for this early in the morning.

 

Lance gets up and twists his back humming in satisfaction when he hears it pop. He rubs the sleep away from his eyes and looks out from his lion to see everyone packing up. Well, aside from Pidge who just seems to have fallen back asleep behind some cargo crates.

 

“Okay Red I guess we have to stock you up and then we are back on the path for earth,” Lance talks as sits in the pilot seat to slip on his shoes. He is about to get up to go outside when he suddenly remembers his talk from last night.

 

“Oh shit that really happened huh,” he says so himself.

 

First, he basically came out to himself and Shiro. Which is a pretty big deal that he hasn't really allowed himself time to think about, and then he had that weird heart to heart talk with Keith. The talk itself isn't that weird, it was just a strange thing to happen between the two of them. Will Keith act weird around him now? The hug pops back into his mind, and Lance groans in frustration.

 

“I can't believe I did that. I hugged him! I mean he didn't take it in a bad way but I could definitely tell it made him kinda uncomfortable because he stiffened up when i hugged him. Of course he could have just been surprised because well, why would he be expecting his rival to hug him? Except we aren't really rivals anymore are we?”

 

Lance has found himself up and pacing as he worriedly talks to himself. He knows he is being irrational and all he has to do is go out there and act normal, but he is so nervous. He wore his heart out on his sleeve last night after having kept it locked up for the past few months, and that's a scary thing to do.

 

Red must have felt Lance’s unease, because she hums in his mind and he can instantly feel himself calming down.

 

“Thanks Red,” he whispers.

 

He gathers his courage and joins the others outside.

 

“Morning everyone!” Lance chirps.

 

“Morning,” Keith send him a soft smile.

 

Lance’s eyes widen and he turns away before Keith can notice. Dammit all he did was smile at him and here he is losing his shit. He raises his eyes to see Shiro smirking at him as he grabs a box from a local alien who is assisting them.

 

Lance narrows his eyes at Shiro and makes the motion of locking his lips. Shiro lets out a laugh and just shakes his head.

 

With everyone pitching in, it doesn't take long for all of the cargo to be loaded and for the team to be ready. Allura takes a moment to thank the locals who had helped them before she turns back to everyone.

 

“Alright, we are only a short distance away from earth so we won't have to stop again before we get there. Once we do arrive, coran and I have decided that you all will have three days to visit your families. In that time we will work on diplomatic matters so that way when we gather back together all we will have to focus on is rebuilding the castle.”

 

Lance feels his eyes involuntarily mist with tears. He is finally going to get to see his family after all this time. He lets out a choked laugh, a smile stretching across his face. He missed his family so much.

 

Allura smiles at Lance, knowing how much it must mean to him to be able to visit home for a few days.

 

“I’ll send coordinates to each of the lions on where we want to land once we reach Earth,” Allura finishes.

 

With that everyone piled back into the lions they arrived in and set off on the path towards Earth.

 

+++

 

The coordinates Allura sent has them landing back in the desert near the Galaxy Garrison. As soon as red lands on the ground Lance rushes out as fast as he can manage.

 

“We’re back!” He yells while extending his arms and looking up at the sky. He is so happy to be back on Earth, to be back home.

 

The other paladins rush out of their lions and joyously join Lance in excitement. None of them could quite believe they had made it back to Earth.

 

The others follow behind them smiling at the paladins’ excitement.

 

“I’m glad to see you all so happy,” Allura speaks up with a fond look on her face.

 

“Now, all of you take one of these.” She hands then each a small, square device.

 

“It’s a communicator so that when you're three days are up I can contact you to come back. I’ll also be sending you a location to return to.”

 

They each take a communicator and are told they are free to go.

 

Lance watches as Shiro walks over to Keith; which makes sense because they are probably going to spend the few days together. Lance suddenly remembers Adam, and he smiles at the thought of Shiro and Keith going to find him.

 

He is about to walk back to his lion when he sees Keith start to walk towards him.

 

“So, you staying with Shiro?” Lance tries to start the conversation.

 

“Yeah,” Keith looks over his shoulder at Shiro with a smile. “He’s my family.”

 

“That's good that you have him.”

 

“It is. Anyway I just wanted to come over and say goodbye I guess. I know it’s only a few days so I don't really need to say goodbye? Uh I hope you have a good time with your family and all that. I know how much you’ve missed them.”

 

Lance can feel the heat rush to his cheeks.

 

“Thanks Keith,” Is all Lance can muster.

 

They offer each other a slightly awkward smile before Keith turns away and jogs back up to Shiro who had been waiting.

 

Lance barely has time to take a breath before he is approached by Pidge and Hunk.

 

“O-oh hey guys,” Lance scratches the back of his neck. He hasn't talked to them since he lashed out back on Yexola.

 

“Hey Lance we were both talking about it and we realize that we owe you a pretty big apology,” Hunk starts off.

 

“Yeah you were right. We weren’t taking your feelings into consideration and we feel really shitty about it,” Pidge jumps in. “And we’re sorry for making you feel excluded.”

 

“We didn't realize it at the time, but looking back it’s pretty obvious we were kind of being assholes to you. You are supposed to be my best friend, so I’m really sorry Lance,” Hunk says.

 

“Me too. I’m so sorry,” Pidge says with a slight waver in her voice.

 

“Hey there's no need to get emotional over it. It’s okay, I accept your apology.” Lance grins.

 

“I accept it as long as you both admit that I am the best looking paladin and have you all beat with my cool ninja sharpshooting skills,” Lance says as he shoots finger guns at them.

 

“There’s the Lance we missed!” Hunk says with a loud laugh.

 

“I hope you have a good time at home,” Pidge smiles up at Lance.

 

“You guys too! I’ll see you in three days,” Lance bids them goodbye and they all go separate ways.

 

Lance waves goodbye to those of them who were going to stay at the Garrison for diplomacy matters, and climbs back into Red.

 

“Alright girl,” He plops himself down into the pilot seat.

 

“Let’s go home.”

 

+++

 

His house still looks the same as when he left it. Lance stands nervously on the front porch wondering how his family is going to react to him showing up on their doorstep after all this time. He raises his fist to knock but right before his hand can make contact with the door, it swings open.

 

“I’m taking Lala on her walk!” A boys voice shouts from inside the house.

 

Lance widens his eyes when he takes in the sight of his little brother, Julian, who had grown to almost his height. At his feet was their family puppy, who couldn't really be called a puppy anymore.

 

“W-what? Lance is that you?” Julian stutters when he turns to see Lance standing on the other side of the door.

 

“Hey there little bro long time no see huh?” lance tries to joke away the burning he feels in his eyes from seeing his brother.

 

Julian drops the dog leash he had been holding and runs into Lance’s arms. He makes a strangled sound, as if he is trying to hold back tears.

 

“We thought you might be dead,” Julian whispers.

 

“Don't worry, you can't get rid of me that easy.” Lance tightens his grip on his brother.

 

“Julian who is at the door?”

 

The sound of his mother's voice sends him over the edge. Tears fall down his cheeks as he lets go of Julian and steps forward to see his mother walking towards the door drying her hands with a washcloth.

 

“Hi mom,” Lance hiccups through his tears.

 

“Lance! Mijo you came home!” She drops the towel she was holding and runs over to encase Lance in a bone crushing hug. They cry into each other's shoulder overwhelmed by the sudden reunion.

 

“I missed you all so much,” Lance says still holding on to his mother.

 

“I can't believe it’s you! I can't believe you are here!” She pulls back from the hug and takes Lance’s face in her hands.

 

“You look so much older.”

 

She swipes her thumb over a small scar on his forehead. One of many he had accumulated over time.

 

“Aye where have you been,” She whispers with sad eyes.

 

“It’s okay I’m here now. I’m safe,” Lance takes her hands away from his face and holds them.

 

“Come in come in! I’m just finishing up dinner. Julian just let Lala out into the backyard for some exercise.”

 

Lance follows his mother into the house and he almost starts crying again just from the familiarity of it all. It smells delicious, and for a split second Lance feels like he never even left.

 

“Where’s Veronica and Dante?” Lance asks referring to his older siblings.

 

“Mom sent them out to the store for some bread to go with dinner. They should be back any time now,” Julian answers as he guides Lala to the backyard.

 

“Lance I have so many questions for you but I will save those for later. I am just so thankful to see you home. We didn't know what happened and we didn't know if you were okay...” His mother trails off.

 

“It’s kind of a long story I guess. I can tell you all while we eat. It smells so good. I can't wait to have one of your meals after all of the food goo,’’ Lance smiles.

 

“Food goo? What's that? I can't decide if it sounds cool or disgusting,” Julian laughs.

 

Lance launches into a description of the food they had been eating up in space and only a few minutes later the door clicks open.

 

His mother puts down a spoon and rushes to the door.

 

“Dante! Veronica! I need you to come see who is here,” She takes the grocery bag from them hardly giving them time to walk through the door.

 

“Lance? Shit, Veronica its Lance!” Dante shouts running up to him. Their mother doesn't bother to scold him on his language, she is too happy to even try.

 

“Lance!” Veronica begins running up to him after Dante. They squish him between them in a big hug full of laughter and some tears.

 

Lance has never felt warmer than in that moment. Surrounded by his family, the smell of food in the air, and smiles on everyone's faces.

 

+++

 

“So Allura used her magic Altean powers to heal Shiro and that's how we all escaped that battle alive. Then we realized we needed to come back to Earth to rebuild our castle, so that's why I’m here. I actually have to go back in three days. We all got some time to visit family, but I have to go back,” Lance finishes with a frown.

 

He had spent all of dinner telling his family about how he got caught up in the whole Voltron thing, about all of their missions, and how he ended up coming back to Earth. He of course was telling them the toned down versions of what happened up in space, electing to omit stories of him almost dying or getting seriously injured. His siblings interjected a lot by asking questions or just offering their commentary. His mother just sat back and listened with a smile glued on her face.

 

“Do you really have to go back? You can't stay with us?” Julian asks after being told that Lance had to leave.

 

“I cant,” Lance sighed. “I’m a defender of the universe and all that jazz. As much as i missed you and never want to leave this house again, it’s important that I go back to my team.”

 

“I understand you have a responsibility Lance, but you have to know that none of us want you to leave,” His mother reaches out to touch his arm.

 

He suddenly feels very guilty about this whole thing. He knows this has to be hard for his family. He just waltzed up a couple of hours ago and then says he had to leave again. Just as they got him back. It feels wrong but he knows it's what he has to do.

 

“I’m sorry,” He holds his mother's hand.

 

They are quiet for a moment, letting the weight of the situation sink in. Soon, they are disturbed by a beeping sound coming from the pocket of Lance’s jacket. It makes them all jump and Lance practically knocks over the table with how quick he stands up. It takes his whole family staring at him for him to realize he basically jumped up into a fighting stance. He un-tenses his body when he realizes and blushes a bit out of embarrassment.

 

“Uh sorry I- uh,” he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the communicator Allura had given him. “It’s just a communicator.”

 

His mother is looking at him with her eyebrows drawn in worry. His siblings exchange nervous glances between each other.

 

“It’s okay, really!” Lance tries to reassure them. “That was just kind of a reflex thing. We always had to be ready to jump up and fight if anything unexpected goes down,” he tries to explain.

 

His hands are shaky and he doesn't like the feeling of all of their eyes on him. He tries once again to change the subject.

 

“Do you want me to help with these dishes?” He begins to pick up his plate.

 

“No no it's okay mijo. You must be so tired. You should try and rest. It’s getting late,” his mom takes the plate away from his hands and shoos him away.

 

Now that he thinks about it, he is really tired. It’s been an extremely long day, and laying down in his own bed - not his bed in the castle or in the seat of a lion - sounds so good.

 

“Okay. Thank you,” He offers his mom another hug before smiling at his siblings and heading down the hallway.

 

He walks all the way down to the last door on the left. It’s closed but he can still see that the paper letters spelling out his name are still taped onto the outside of the door. He lifts a hand to run his finger over the the L. He had printed and cut these out when he was younger and just never took it down. He smiles fondly before reaching out to twist the doorknob.

 

For what seems like the millionth time today, Lance can feel his eyes swell with tears. Being back in his room just fills him with such a comfortable familiar feeling. He walks over to his bed and practically throws himself down on it. He lets out an audible goan and just lays there with his eyes shut for a few minutes.

 

The same beeping sound from before scares him into opening his eyes. He fishes his communicator back out from his pocket realizing he forgot to see what had caused it to beep earlier. Hopefully it was nothing important and no one was in trouble.

 

He taps on a little green circle allowing the device to unlock. It doesn't take him long to realize that the communicator is basically a cell phone. A purple exclamation point blinks at the corner of the screen. He taps on it and is brought to a page telling him he has two new messages. He opens the first message.

 

_So Pidge just messaged me on my communicator to let me know that we can basically text each other. She was pretty excited about it and said I should try it out._

 

Lance goes onto the second message.

 

_This is Keith by the way. I probably should have said that in my first message. Oops._

 

Lance giggles. He actually fucking giggles. He slaps a hand over his eyes and huffs out an angry breath. Can he not act like a little school girl texting her crush? Except that's literally exactly what he's doing. God he needs to get it together. He begins to type up a response.

 

_Hi! Keith, my main man. Whats up?_

 

“Idiot!” Lance whispers to himself as he backspaces. “Just say something normal for fucks sake.”

 

_Keith! Pidge is right, this texting thing is pretty cool._

 

Before he can overthink it too much he taps the button to sends the message. He lets the phone fall onto the bed and gets up to get ready to sleep.

 

As he is brushing his teeth he wonders about his thing with Keith. He no longer is repressing his feelings, thanks to Shiro he feels better about confronting the fact that he likes Keith head on. It’s just that now that he acknowledges it he doesn't know what to do from here. Telling Keith is definitely off the table because Keith only sees Lance as a friend. But the thought of hopelessly pining over him for who knows how long causes Lances stomach to turn.

 

He rinses out his mouth and is drying his face with a towel when he hears the communicator beep again. He rushes back to his bed turning off the light as he goes. He crawls into bed and lets out a satisfied sigh at how he sinks into the mattress.

 

_I know it’s only been like half a day, but I was wondering how things are going with your family._

 

Lance feels giddy knowing that Keith cares enough to reach out and talk to him like this. Maybe he is overthinking the whole “just friends” thing. He starts to respond when another message pops up.

 

_I already messaged the others and things seem to be going well for everyone else :)_

 

Oh. So Lance wasn't the only one Keith messaged. Lance wants to be sad about that but how can he be sad when he is exploding at the cuteness of the smiley face Keith used.

 

“Shit I’m in too deep,” Lance tells himself as he comes up with a response.

 

_Glad to hear that everyone is fine. I’m having a great time at home. It’s nice to see my family again. I’m about to go to sleep though, today has really worn me out._

 

Lance wants to think about how he should handle this whole situation with Keith, but he can already feel his eyelids drooping and his mind becoming foggy with sleep. The last thing he sees before he slips into a deep sleep is one last message from Keith.

 

_Goodnight Lance, you deserve to be happy._

 

+++

 

It is the last day that Lance has to spend at home before he has to go back and reunite with the team. He has spent the last day and a half just enjoying being around his family, but he knows where he has to go on his last day here. He finds his mother and tells her he will be gone only for a couple of hours. He slips out the door and starts on the familiar walk. It takes awhile, about twenty five minutes, before Lance can smell the salt in the air. Soon the path clears and Lance finds himself stepping on the sand of the beach he grew up on. He came here all the time as a kid and being back fills him with such a strong nostalgic feeling that it almost hurts. It is a good kind of pain though.

 

There is a certain spot if you just walk down the shoreline for a bit that kind of closes off, but if you are exploring as a young kid it wouldn't be hard to find the gap in the rocks that leads to a secluded area. Lance found it when he was about ten years old, and whenever he felt the need to get away from life, or just wanted to be alone he came here.

 

Now, years later, he struggles a bit to fit between the opening in the rocks but he manages to get through. On this secret side of the beach, the sand is cleaner from the lack of people walking on it, and the wall of rocks behind him has a soft layer of moss growing. It isn't a very large space, but that has always made Lance feel warm and secure. He sits down in the sand right where the water laps up and just splashes at his feet. He inhales a deep breath of the fresh air and hums in content. When he was up in space feeling homesick or if he was ever in a slump, he always imagined being here in this place.

 

Now, he figures it's as good of a place as any to have his sexuality crisis. He has been keeping his feelings bottles up for long enough. Not even just his ones for Keith, but feelings for other people he just had not recognized at the time. Talking with Shiro really helped him open his eyes and see that his petty rivalries he always seemed to have with boys may not have been what he thought all these years.

 

It’s not that he has a problem with being gay, it’s just never what he imagined for himself. It's really strange to think you are this certain person your whole life, then suddenly realize that you are different than what you had thought as a child. All of his life he was conditioned to fit these heteronormative roles, so to realize he has to step out of that terrifies Lance a bit. Then he goes on and think about how other people are going to react. Lance thinks about his mother and wonders how she is going to take it.

 

Thinking about coming out to his family send chills through him. Lance realizes next that he doesn't even know what he would come out as. He isn't completely gay because he had a very real crush on Allura and many other girls in his past. Yet there was tight T-shirt boy, reading list boy, and Keith. He can now admit to himself that the things he felt towards them all wasn't rivalry. So he likes both boys and girl, which makes him bisexual, right?

 

“Hmm bisexual huh?” Lance questions out loud.

 

It feels weird to say, like going inside of a McDonalds at 2am; it isn't wrong but it feels strange. He buries his feet into the wet sand and lets out a huff of air.

 

Even though this new revelation about himself is scary, Lance feels a sense of peace along with the fear. Kind of like a missing puzzle piece coming together except that he didn't know the piece was missing in the first place.

 

He sits awhile longer, just letting the sea breeze calm him down before he gets up and brushes the sand off of his legs. He told his mom he wouldn't be gone too long so he should probably be heading back home.

 

He squeezes back through the gap in the rocks and starts on his walk.

 

By the time he reaches his house the sun is setting and Lance runs into Julian who has just come back from taking Lala on her walk.

 

“Oh hey Lance!” He glances down at Lance’s sandy sandals.

 

“Were you at the beach?”

 

“Yeah, wanted to hang out there for a bit before I leave.” The two of them talk as they walk into the house.

 

“You leave tomorrow morning right?” Julian asks with a frown.

 

“Yeah, I should be receiving instructions on where I am supposed to go soon.”

 

“It sucks that you have to leave again when you just got back.”

 

“I know. I’m sorry,” Lance sincerely tells his little brother.

 

“Lance? Julian? Are you both back?” Their mom calls from the living room.

“Yes its us!” Julian calls back to her as he walks to put away Lala’s leash.

 

“Hi mom,” Lance find her sitting down watching some show on TV that Lance doesn't recognize. He sits down beside her on the couch and she pulls him close to her side.

 

“I’m so sad you have to leave us again mijo. I just got you back.”

 

Lance opens his mouth to speak but is hushed back into silence.

 

“Shh I don't want to hear you apologize for something that you can't help. From what you have told us I understand that this is bigger than any one of us. I want you to know that I am so proud of what you have accomplished.”

 

Lance smiles at his mother's words, glad that she understands that this what he has to do.

 

“Thank you,” he turns to smile at her.

 

“I can also tell that there is someone special to you in your life. Perhaps she is someone you met up in space?”

 

“W-what do you mean?” Lance sputters at the sudden turn in the conversation.

 

“Call it a mother's instincts or whatever you will but I can just tell. The way you light up when you talk about certain missions or times you spent with your team. Is it that Allura girl? You talk fondly of her.”

 

Lance can physically feel his heart stop beating in his chest and sink to his ass.

 

“I mean I did like Allura for a bit but not anymore,” He carefully says.

 

Lance isn't sure if he wants to tell his mom anything about Keith. He literally just had a whole episode of gay panic at the beach so he isn't sure if now would be the best time to come out to someone; let alone his mom.

 

“Hmm is there something you aren't telling me?” She questions with a mischievous look in her eyes.

 

Lance almost doesn't say anything, but then he thinks about how he is leaving in the morning and he won't know when he will see his family again. He thinks about how he needs to take advantage on the little time he has left with them now. He knows his mom would never freak out too bad over something like this so he figures, _fuck it._

 

“Actually, you're right. There is someone.”

 

“Ah-ha! I knew it! So what's her name?”

 

Lance takes a huge breath before saying, “The thing is, his name is Keith.”

 

His mom drops the smile from her face and replaces it with a quizzical look, making it obvious her mind must be going a hundred miles an hour trying to process what Lance just dumped on her.

 

“Keith? The boy on your team that you told us about?” She asks.

 

“Yup,” Lance says weakly.

 

“Oh.” Is all she respond with creating what Lance figures is the world's most awkward silence.

 

“Are you upset?”

 

“Upset? No honey I would never be upset over who you like. I'm just a little surprised is all. The way you talked about that boy made it seem like you didn't get along very well.”

 

“Yeah well it turns out all of that so called hatred was just me repressing some feelings.”

 

“Lance, I need you to listen to me very carefully. I love you no matter who you love, and you should love yourself as well.”

 

Lance launches himself into his mother's arms. “Thank you, I love you,” His words are muffled by her shirt but he knows he was heard by the way her embrace tightens.

 

“You should go to sleep so you can be in good shape for when you go back,” She lets him go and wipes a single tear from the corner of her eye.

 

With that Lance gathers himself back together and heads up to his room where he sees his communicator on his bed lit up with a message from Allura regarding the location of where he is supposed to go in the morning.

 

Lance has a hard time falling asleep. He can't keep his brain from telling him that it would probably be a long time before he was back at home in this bed. He eventually does drift off, but his night is filled with tossing and turning. It only feels like he has been asleep for maybe an hour before he is woken up by the alarm he had set. Upon checking the time he realizes he did get a few hours a sleep, even though he doesn't really feel like he did. Lance gets up and grudgingly gets ready to leave. He knows he has too, but its still hard.

 

Time passes quickly and before he knows it, he is standing outside with his family.

 

“Here take this. Oh! Don't forget this one too!” Lance’s mother says as she shoves tupperware containers of food into his hands.

 

His hands are full with bags full of food from his mother as well as some extra clothes he decided he wanted to take back with him.

 

“Thank you,” He says as he puts the food containers into his bag.

 

“Try not to make us wait so long to see you his time,” Dante says as he brings Lance in for a hug.

 

“Hey at least this time we know where he is,” Veronica says waiting beside the two with her arms open.

 

Lance smiles and leaves Dantes arms to find himself wrapped in Veronica's a few seconds later.

 

“Stay safe up there kid,” She whispers in his ear.

 

When they were younger Lance would always get mad at Veronica for calling him “kid” but this time he doesn't complain at all. It’s one of those things he never thought he would miss, but did.

 

Lance pulls himself away from his sister to look at Julian. He can tell by his little brothers face that he is really upset and just trying no to show it. It reminds Lance of himself.

 

“As soon as this war is over I’ll come right back home, don't worry,” Lance hugs his last sibling.

 

“Yeah but how long is the war going to last?” Julian asks.

 

“I- I don't know,” Lance answers truthfully.

 

A thick and heavy silence settles in the air. The weight of the situation becoming very real to each one of them, but the silence is broken their mother's voice.

 

She takes her son by the shoulders and looks him in the eyes before saying, “However long it takes we will be here waiting for you. So do us all a favor and stay safe up there okay?”

 

All Lance can do is nod as he collapses into her warm embrace. He absolutely hates how painful goodbyes can be.

 

He double checks that he has everything before turning his back on his family and his home, and with the coordinates loaded up on his communicator, he heads back to the people who make up another kind of family.

 

+++

 

The meet up place was different from where they had first landed on Earth. Lance was surprised to find himself landing directly on Garrison property. It was in an area behind the main school that as a student he had never been allowed in. He can see all of the other lions huddled up together behind a large building indicating that Lance was the last one to arrive. He landed his lion by the others and got out to look around. It seemed as if no one was there until he heard voices drifting in from the main building.

 

“Excellent Pidge! With what we have gathered from you and your family we should be able to start rebuilding!” Allura sounds excited.

 

“Oh yeah I can't wait to get my hands on some of these parts!” Lance can make out Hunk’s voice.

 

Following Hunk’s exclamation is the sound of clanking as if someone is messing with a pile of tools.

 

“Once Lance gets here we can go over the full plan and get started,” Shiro is next to speak.

 

Lance takes that as his cue to stop being a creep by listening at the door and walk in. As soon as he can be seen, everyone inside turns their head to look at him.

 

“No need to worry I made it,” Lance says smugly while sweeping open his arms.

 

“Lance!” Hunk looks up from where he was fiddling with machine parts with a smile.

 

“I see you’ve made some progress,” Lance says while walking closer to the table everyone was around.

 

“Yes! Coran, Romelle and I have been working with some of the Garrison commanders as well as Pidge’s family to come up with a way to rebuild.” Allura explains to Lance while showing papers with a bunch of mathematical formulas he didn't understand. He must have had a confused look on his face because Keith suddenly comments.

 

“Don't worry, I had no idea what any of that meant when they showed me either,” he offers Lance the smallest smile.

 

“It’s okay, Pidge and Hunk are going to be in charge of taking care of this part anyway. Since both you and Keith can’t pitch in here, maybe the two of you could head over to building M83 where they keep extra equipment and bring us back some things,” Shrio says while side eying Lance.

 

“What an excellent idea Shiro!” Allura claps her hands and begins to shoo the two boys away.

 

“Uh okay? Yeah sure,” Keith gives them both a weird look before turning to Lance.

 

Lance looks at Shiro with a panicked look on his face only for Shiro to give him a thumbs up. Lance turns his face into a scowl before spinning around to walk away with Keith.

 

The two of them walk side by side in silence for a while as they keep an eye on the numbers of the building they pass. Lance is raking his brain trying to think of something to break the silence with but Keith beats him to it.

 

“So how was your little break? Was everything okay back home?”

 

Lance releases some of the tension that had built up in his shoulders. Small talk is good, he can work with small talk.

 

“Yeah it was great to be able to see my family again. I had a good time. How about you? What did you do?” Lance asks.

 

“Shiro and I met up with an old friend,” Keith explains with a soft smile that makes Lance’s heart jump in his chest.

 

“Was it Adam?”

 

“You know about Adam?” Keith looks shocked.

 

“Yeah I talk to Shiro about him. He sounds nice.”

 

“Oh, well yeah. Shiro was so happy to see him,” Keith smiles. “The three of us hung out and it was really nice to be back with Adam. We all know Shiro has basically raised me, so I was around Adam a lot when he came into Shiro's life. Having the three of us back together again was nice.”

 

“That’s really cool,” Lance says honestly.

 

“Yeah and I had some time to talk to Shiro about some things,” Keith says with a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

 

Lance catches the small change in Keiths demeanor and turns his head to look at him.

 

“Like what?”

 

It might be his imagination, but Lance swears Keith blushes a bit after his question.

 

“Oh look. M83,” Keith points up at the numbers on the building coming up next.

 

Lance wants to keep prodding, but figures that it would be best to stay quiet and let Keith open up on his own.

 

“What are we supposed to be getting again?” Lance asks looking at the many boxes of random mechanical parts covering the floor of the warehouse they just walked into.

 

“The parts in those boxes look like the ones we we were short on, so I’m going to guess we should probably grab those,” Keith points to two boxes towards the side.

 

They both kneel and start rummaging through the boxes to make sure the things inside looked like the right kind of tools and parts.

 

Lance’s mind wanders back to his time at home and what what he thought about on the beach. For a short second he considers telling Keith everything.

 

His hand stutters at thought, nerves pulling his face into a frown. He decides he won’t say anything before looking up at Keith who is going through the box across from him.

 

Keith has his eyebrows scrunched together in concentration and his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth as he digs through his pile. He isn’t doing anything particularly amazing or adorable, but for some reason it’s this moment that makes Lance drop the screws he has piled in his hand.

 

“You good over there,” Keith asks without looking up.

 

“NO!” Lance shouts a little too loud.

 

His outburst causes Keith to stop rummaging and raise his head to meet Lance’s eyes.

 

“No?” Keith questions. He clearly was not expecting that to be Lance’s answer.

 

Lance’s mouth seems to be working at a pace faster than his brain because before he knows it, his lips are forming words.

 

“I need to talk to you about something actually. I did a lot of thinking while I was home and for some reason you came up a lot? I mean not in a creepy way or anything but I was thinking about our relationship? As friends! Our relationship as friends and I uh- ” Lance stammers at the end cutting himself off before he can say anything else.

 

Keith is giving Lance his full attention at this point. His dark eyes flicker over Lance’s face in confusion.

 

“I’m not sure I understand what you’re trying to tell me here,” Keith says slowly.

 

“I’ve never actually hated you, did you know that?” Lance asks, his voice lowering.

 

“Back at the Garrison, and when we first found the lions. I know it might have seemed like it, but I never hated you Keith.”

 

“I never thought you hated me. I just thought our friendship was a game to you, so I played along,” Keith answers.

 

“It wasn't a game. I just had these feelings that I didn't know how to deal with so I took it out on you and I really want to say I’m sorry for that,” Lance says as he moves to sit down against the wall.

 

Keith hovers for a moment over the box he was going through, before silently coming over so slide down against the wall next to Lance.

 

“I never really understood why we were fighting, I just kind of went with it,” Keith tries to explain.

 

“Well to be fair I was mad at you for a while there. This is the only time you’ll ever hear me admit it but it really hurt my feelings when you didn't remember me when we rescued Shrio back on Earth. I mean, we had been in the same class at the garrison for years so I expected you to at least recognize my face or something,” Lance lets out a rough sigh.

 

“I actually have a reason for that,” Keith speaks up.

 

“I hope it’s good.”

 

“It’s a horrible excuse that's why I’ve never brought it up but here goes nothing I guess,” Keith claps his hands together.

 

“Of course I recognized your face. The thing is I thought your name was Taylor, so when you introduced yourself as Lance I got really confused and panicked and ended up just saying I don't know who you were.”

 

“WHAT?” Lance turns onto his hip to face Keith.

 

“You thought my name was Taylor? What the fuck Keith?”

 

“That's what you always called yourself! How was I supposed to know it was a cheesy nickname!” Keith yells back as his face heats up.

 

“Oh god,” Lance’s face breaks into a smile.

 

“I called myself the tailor and you thought my name was Taylor.”

 

It only takes a few seconds for Lance to start laughing so hard that he slides all the way down onto his back on the floor clutching onto his stomach.

 

“Shut up! This is why I never told you the truth,” Keith slouches further into the wall and crosses his arms.

 

Lance goes on to laugh for another good minute before he is taking deep breaths and wiping tears out of the corners of his eyes.

 

“You done there?” Keith asks with a teasing eye roll.

 

“Yeah I think so,” Lance is a bit breathless as he sits himself back up against the wall.

 

He hasn't laughed that hard in a long time time, and he cant help but smile at how good it felt. Sitting here side by side with Keith and laughing must have put him in a hell of a good mood because once again his mouth decides to move before his brain can even register the words.

 

“I think I have a bit of a crush on you.”

 

As soon as the words are out of his mouth he can hear the sharp intake of air from Keith. It’s at this moment Lance figures he must be going mad, because he doesn't feel scared at all. He keeps his eyes trained on his fingers as he plays with his hands before continuing.

 

“No, I don’t think. I know. That's what I was talking about when I said I had feelings I don't know how to handle. I mistook my crush on you for hatred and rivalry. I didn't know that it was okay for me to feel this way about a boy. It took some time, obviously, but now I know that there's nothing wrong me and that everything is ok. I’m sorry if this makes things awkward, I know you don’t feel the same way, I just figured I should tell you.”

 

Lance figures he should be terrified right now after his confession but he is just _so_ emotionally tired that all he can bring himself to feel is the slight numbing feeling of shock, but nothing to make him panic. All he does is sit and wait for inevitable rejection.

 

What he doesn’t expect is for his fingers that he had been fidgeting in his lap to be covered by a gloved hand.

 

His eyes snap up to meet Keith’s eyes, which hold a glassy look.

 

“Lance, do you mean all of that?” He asks in the most vulnerable voice Lance has ever heard.

 

He takes one look at Keith’s face, flawed with scars in the most beautiful way, and he knows. He knows that he was meant to love Keith Kogane.

 

“Yes,” he breathes.

 

Keith’s gloved hand moves from Lance’s fingers to the side of his face. Gently holding his cheek, Keith looks at Lance and asks one simple question.

 

“Can I kiss you?”

 

Lance barely has time to nod his head before Keith is moving his face in closer and connecting his lips to Lance’s.

 

Lance smiles into the kiss and brings his hands around to tangle into Keith’s hair. He tugs on it a little which causes Keith to smile into the kiss as well. As it turns out two people trying to kiss while smiling doesn’t work out very well because their teeth are clanking together a moment later.

 

They pull away breathless and Lance thinks he must be the luckiest person in the world to be able to see Keith right now in this moment with a goofy smile and flushed cheeks.

 

“I like you too Lance. Have for awhile.”

 

Lance perks up when he hears this. “Really? I wouldn’t have guessed.”

 

“I guess we were both just really bad at figuring out our feelings,” Keith laughs.

 

“When did you figure it out?” Lance asks.

 

“It was always there really, but my first ‘oh shit’ moment of gay panic was our bonding moment that you oh so conveniently forgot,” Keith says still smiling.

 

“You know I never forgot that.”

 

“You asshole! I knew it!” Keith punches Lance in the arm.

 

“Hey the idea of being gay wasn’t even in my head yet at that point give a guy a break!” Lance defends.

 

“Are you saying I was your gay awakening?” Keith places his hand dramatically over his chest. “Lance, I’m honored.”

 

“No you were just the first crush I figured out was a crush. I would say my gay awakening was tight shirt boy from math class. And to be more specific I should say bi awakening.”

 

“Wait who?”

 

“Eh nevermind he doesn’t matter. You’re the one who matters.” Lance flashes Keith a bright smile.

 

“Shut up,” Keith bites back.

 

Lance looks down and realizes that he somehow ended up having his hands intertwined with Keith’s, and honestly he couldn’t think of anything better.

 

“We should probably get back,” Keith glances over his shoulder at the forgotten boxes.

 

“Yeah,” Lance agrees.

 

Keith moves first to reluctantly pull his hands away from Lance’s and they both pull themselves up off of the floor. They head over to the boxes and pick up the ones they had been going through before.

 

As they walk back to the main building where everyone is, they sneak in quick kisses along the way giggling to each other as if they were thirteen and Lance loves every second of it. It’s only when they are approaching the door that they go back to walking a normal distance away from each other and try to wipe the giddy smiles off of their faces.

 

“Hey we’re back with the junk,” Lance loudly exclaims gaining everyone’s attention as Keith follows behind him.

 

He dumps his box into an empty part of the table leaving room for Keith’s stuff too.

 

“Took you long enough. We thought you two figured out a way to get lost even though the buildings are numbered,” Pidge teases.

 

“We didn’t get lost,” Keith says giving Lance a quick look with a sparkle in his eye.  

 

Lance ducks his head and bites back a smile.

 

Yeah, they didn’t get lost. They found their way.


End file.
